Saturday, June 27, 2015

Who Runs the World? Strong Willed People...Duh

Ok so let me start by saying I am so sorry that it has been so long since my last post. I did in fact pick up that second job I mentioned in my introduction post and between that and my own mental slump its been a long couple of weeks. With that being said I want to make a post about some of the women who inspire me, both fat and skinny and completely different from one another, these are all women who help remind me to be myself and go for my goals. If you want to recommend some role models or quotes of your own please feel free to share, I am always looking for new inspiration.


1. Juliet Simms
(Photo: Scott Dudelson)

Juliet inspires to follow my dreams on my own terms. After starting a music career she had a successful band but her manager and the business didn't take care of her and she didn't get to be as big as she should have been. With help from her fellow rock star and boyfriend Andy Biersack and with her own hard work and determination she has revamped her career and is doing amazing things. Juliet is all about being yourself no matter what others think. She just released a great album, a jewelry line, a few different awesome music videos, and she is part of the line up on Vans Warped Tour this year. She is such an inspiration to me and I hope I get to meet her this year at Warped....BUCKET LIST ITEM! She is absolutely gorgeous and after watching countless interviews and reading what she has to say on her Instagram and Facebook I admire everything she stands for and her humble nature. Juliet understands that her fans are important and she has a genuine love for them. I am so excited to see what the future has in store for her.

2. Tess Holiday
(Photo: Milk Management)

Tess Holiday is a plus size model and she is absolutely stunning. I have all of the respect in the world for this woman. She inspires me to love my body and not give a damn if everyone else does or not. She also inspires me to go for what I want in life no matter how many people tell me I can't. People told her she was to big to model and yet here she is, being a stunning model. I mean HELLLOOO! shes frickin gorgeous! Women like Tess show me that it is ok to love the body that I have no matter what it looks like, I have fat arms, thick thighs and a huge butt and I am beautiful even though I might not always remember that. Tess' story and career help encourage me to keep my chin up and keep marching through life, accepting myself and knowing that I am capable of absolutely anything. Just because we are big doesn't mean that we have to fit into societies expectations, it means that we have the bodies and strength to tear down the barriers!

3. Joan Jett
(Photo: Rolling Stone)

Joan Jett has been a woman that I have looked up to most of my life. I have loved her IDGAF attitude, her style, her music, and what she stands for. She is tough, independent, talented, and opinionated which are all thing I would love to be able to say able myself or have others say about me. As far as talent goes I'm not sure I have any but I am definitely tough, and opinionated and I would like to think I am pretty independent haha. Joan Jett has always lived life her own way to the point of starting her own record label because no one else thought her music would sell. She has been a rock star role model for women everywhere and recently she was finally inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame. This woman has achieved so much against so many odds. She played rock and roll when t was unheard of for a woman to play it. She has lived her life to the fullest and She inspires me to do the same every day. If I could become half the woman that Joan Jett is I would be very proud of myself. I think society as a whole has a lot to learn from this woman about expectations and gender roles, about working hard and about how to treat people. 

4. Cheryl Held (My Grams)
(Photo: Me, my 19th birthday 2011)

My grandma has been a bigger inspiration to me than anyone else. She has shown me what a stong woman looks like. What it looks like to love others more than yourself, when manners are necessary and when they some times are not. She has taught me faith and devotion to being a wonderful person. My grandma has encouraged me in everything I have every done and in everything I continue to do. She was around to love me and hold me when my mom was not, she was there to protect me and stand by my side when I thought no one would. She tells me that she is proud of me every time I see her which unfortunately is less now than I would like. She has shown me what it looks like to be a strong devoted, loving, wife and mother. Her marriage to my grandfather has given me hope in love that I never thought I would have. They are a team and she is so proud of it. She gives her all in every thing that she does and she has taught me to do the same. I never do anything half assed. If I am going to put my time into something you better believe that I am going to make it count. I have seen this woman cry maybe three times in my whole life because she is the one that is always holding and consoling me. She is the strongest woman I have ever known and I hope I can be just like her some day. My grandma takes no crap from no one, she puts anyone who challenges her in their place. She isn't afraid to be one of the guys and shes definitely one of the girls. She is beautiful and loves her jackets and jewelry but she isn't afraid of hard work or sarcastic witty comebacks. I get most of my personality from my grandma, sassy, strong, independent and beautiful, I am the luckiest woman in the world that I have been able to spend so much of my life with such a wonderful role model.

Thank you guys for checking out my biggest female role models, there are many others these are just the main ones. Who inspires you guys? what words, books, pictures, mantras, people or anything else inspires you? what drives you and helps you continue forward? I would love to hear from you and I promise to post more often!

Love and pizza,

Amber


Monday, June 1, 2015

Art in a Bathtub


My thighs take up most of this tub
Built for humans but straining against their thickness.
The water level rises as my legs extend.
Knees to chest 
water level falls.
My thick arms squish against my chest trying to find their own room.
Why do I do this to myself.
Because the warm water swallows my legs and a hot bath makes
Any girl feel sexy.
Maybe just me.
My tummy rolls droop and take over whatever space they want.
I used to feel sad about it.
I used to suck them in and push parts of my body around to resemble something it would never be.
Now here I sit, warm, relaxed
Fat everywhere.
I will never be able to take a bath with my boyfriend.
There will be no pretty woman bathtub scene in my life and I will most likely forever be able to bathe in little water.
But I don't care.
My thighs jiggle
My tummy has stretch marks and folds
My arms look like upside down bowling pins 
But I'm alive,
I'm in a bath tub of clean water.
My shaved legs feel smooth and sexy against one another
Fat or no fat I am a woman and I am amazing.
Curvy like a winding road on a great adventure.
Comforting like pillows and shaped like I was painted with a soft, full brush.
I am art in a bath tub.