"10 Honest Thoughts on Being Loved by a Skinny Boy" By: Rachel Wiley
I have always had anxiety about dating because I am a fat girl. I always feel like I am not good enough or that the guys I have dated deserve so much better but one thing I have learned in life is that being a fat girl does NOT...Let me repeat this...DOES NOT mean that I am not good enough to be with a man. Fat girls, fat boys, skinny girls, skinny boys, we all deserve to find happiness and we all deserve love.
That being said I will never forget laying next to my current boyfriend for the first time. My boyfriend is tall and skinny and I had never even thought about that until we laid down...and I felt giant. Not because of anything he did, he is amazingly sweet and supportive, but because when he wrapped his arm around my waist I realized how much bigger my body was compared to his.
I have struggled with the thoughts that he will meet someone thinner than me and until recently I thought that meant someone prettier, but it doesn't. He tells me I'm beautiful and he holds my hand, he brushes the hair out of my eyes and he kisses me...IN PUBLIC! for the world to see! and if you are a fellow fat girl you know that being kissed in public, or having your man hold your hand down the street is the best feeling in the world, because no matter how you are feeling about yourself, he is proud to be seen with you!
Another point that Rachel brings up in her poem is that her boyfriend loves her "with the light on." If you are a fat girl you also know that this is a wonderful feeling because if you are like me you had a hard ass time getting to the point where YOU could look at yourself naked let alone deal with someone else seeing you naked. Ladies, make your man love you with the light on, love yourself with the light on! you are beautiful and you deserve lights on! you are not a secret, you are not imaginary! you are real, alive, and damn it you are worth the electricity!
This isn't just for the ladies, men (if you're reading this), love yourself with the lights on, love your partner with the lights on. Who decided that it was ok for someone to touch our bodies in the dark? Who decided that it was alright to make love like its a mystery?! Excuse me but if you find my body attractive enough to touch with the lights off you can bet your ass you can find my body attractive enough to touch it in the light, if you can't then the door is that rectangle thing with the knob on it, show yourself out! (insert sassy head bob and snap here).
Being in love with someone who has a different body type than you can be intimidating, society tells us that we need to be with someone who is the same as us but what the hell does that even mean? I could find a man who is the same height and weight as me and he is still going to look different, he is going to act different, he is going to be... different. I am so in love with this tall skinny guy and don't get me wrong, my insecurities make it really hard sometimes but when that happens I have to tell myself "girl! this man has done absolutely NOTHING to show you anything other than love, are you going to let go of this man because of thoughts? thoughts are NOT facts! they re not solid, they are not certain, they are works of fiction, images created by the darkest parts of your mind. DO NOT LET THEM RUIN THIS!"
Ladies do not ever let anyone tell you that because you are a fat girl you will not find a skinny boy, if that's what you want it then get it girl! It's not even about body image, I used to think that I would never be with anyone that made me feel sexy, or that I found to be irresistible because I wasn't irresistible...screw that! go for who you like people! If it doesn't happen remind yourself that just because someone doesn't share that attraction it does not mean that you aren't attractive, it means that you are meant for someone else, it means you have to keep trying until you find someone who wants the same things in life. Someone who can't help but talk to you because they are so damn attracted to you.
I have dated all types of guys, not because I know a secret formula or because I am everyone's type (believe me I am an acquired taste). I have dated so many types because one day I said screw it and decided that the only person's standards I had to meet were my own and since then I have been slowly focusing on my confidence. It's not easy, it's not going to happen in a day, and it may happen more days than others but you are worth it. Your heart is worth it.
What do you guys think? what have your experiences been with loving someone who's different than you? How have you dealt with it? Also if you guys have anything you want to see or talk about on this page please let me know! I am new to this and definitely open to ideas!
Stay beautiful,
Amber
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